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Author Archives: Plonker
Sure, it’s funny now…
So there I was… In this Plonker Sez, I’m going to tell you of three stories that are sure to have you saying, “what in the actual blue fuck, mate?”. Let’s begin. NUMBER ONE These events happened in a lovely little town … Continue reading
Posted in Plonker Sez
Tagged #HateMyLife, #WhyMe, burglery, drinking, fuck, It's Funny Now, lets do shots, plonker, Roofie, zombie
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Still single, ladies…
So I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m still single. Yes, lonely, desperate, horny Plonker. Imagine a fat and naked man, alone at his computer, elbow deep in chicken wings and porn. That is the essence of Plonker. Yes, … Continue reading
Posted in Plonker Sez
Tagged no homo, plonker sez, single, spending money on stupid shit
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I get all the normal ones… /sarcasm
To quote Bruce Willis, “I don’t get it. I just don’t get it. And, I don’t like it. Where’d I go wrong?” I’m a reasonably good looking guy. Yeah, I could lose a pound or 90, but who can’t these … Continue reading
Posted in Plonker Sez, Ramblings
Tagged crazy, fleshlite, plonker, sex, when I think about you I touch myself, women
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Guys, don’t get fat. Just….just don’t.
So where do I start? Well, let’s start here…holy shit I’m out of shape. So Josh and I decided today, since it’s 60º in January (which clearly puts to bed those rumors of that made-up “Climate Change” stuff) that we’d … Continue reading
Posted in Bike Trips, Plonker Sez, Ramblings
Tagged #bicycle, #fuckimfat, #plonkersez, bike, fat, out of shape, plonker
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Ladies…learn how to date.
Do girls not know how to “date” anymore? I want to plan a night, get reasonably dressed up (appropriately), pick you up, take you out, then take you home when the night’s events are over. No, I don’t want … Continue reading
