187.7 Miles

One hundred eighty-seven and seven tenths miles.

That’s how long this fucking bicycle trip was.

We spent 15 hours 33 minutes of “ass on the seat” time getting here, averaging just over 12 miles per hour. No, that’s not setting world records. Yes, it’s stupid.

Hello again there Fujupz freakz! It’s your old doughboy, Plonker! 

So we made it. We added over 50 miles this year, an extra day of riding, and have completed the first part of the Bike trip three point oh (or “Bike Trip 3.0” if you prefer).

After three nights of alcohols, we woke up today feeling a bit achy. For me, it was my legs. For Hoff, it was his legs and his stomach. What a fucking pussy…at least that’s what our waitress called him last night. No, we didn’t go to one of those restaurants where their thing is being rude to you, that’s just what she called him. I like that. I hope she’s working again tonight!

I had no problems with my drinks last night, but ol Hoff couldn’t even down a martini that tasted like a Jolly Rancher.

But anyway, we’re here. Now, unfortunately, being self-employed now I’m forced to never truly take a “vacation”. I’ve got representatives around the world right now that need some support services, and I’m also dealing with a vendor and government agency headaches on this side of the world. Yay me?

All in all, I can’t say I’m feeling too bad. The trip wasn’t really awful aside from the literal pain in the ass. I guess “pain in the ass” is incorrect. It’s more like “pain in the grundle”. Finally before we started our day 3 ride I hit up CVS for baby powder and the equivalent of Vaseline. With that slathered all over my sack, at least I wouldn’t end up with balls falling off from the friction. It helped, too. The 55 miles yesterday were kind of “easy”. I guess at this point that’s the wrong word, but it wasn’t painful.

After we woke up today and got the car, we hit up our breakfast spot where we had lunch. It was good, but last night I had pork corn cakes (I kept almost slipping and calling them porn cork cakes…which seems like it would be far different) for an appetizer and they were amazing. The shrimp tacos, yeah they were good, but not like these corn cakes.

So today we’ve picked up the rental car, had food, I’m doing laundry, Hoff’s doing…things I don’t want to think about. Luckily, the rooms are next to each other and the walls so thin you can hear each other thinking!  After this post and the laundry, I have to call a vendor and bitch about getting my shit that he owes me…

Then if I can get all of that taken care of, tomorrow should be a fun day at Cedar Point. It’s supposed to rain, but hey at least we aren’t home.

Anyway, that’s all I can think of for now. My brain still needs some rest and I’m just completely out of wit for the day. Maybe more to follow.

XOXO,

Plonker

About Plonker

Plonker is a balding, middle-aged, overweight male who hasn't exactly set the world on fire. In his "spare time", he can usually be found walking around his house completely stark naked, either eating something or touching himself. And, Ladies...he's single. Get at him! But not fat chicks. Okay, fat chicks.
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One Response to 187.7 Miles

  1. Pingback: A Hoff's Life - Vacation Day ... 4? - Fujupz.com

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