So as Plonker mentioned in his recent post, we made the traveled 187.7 miles by bicycle.
This has been the first time we’ve ridden our bikes 3 days in a row at around 60 miles per day. My quads are killing me. My ass is killing me (FROM THE SEAT!). But overall it hasn’t been bad. Rain has been minimal, temperature had been pretty nice.
I’m amazed at how much flack we get for doing these rides. I hear it. Plonker hears it. “Why would you ride you’re bike to Sandusky!?”
There’s a few reasons. First of all, it originally came up when we first started bike riding. Quickest route was about 125-130 miles, which seemed damn near impossible. Shit, riding to the DQ by Plonkers house (6.84 miles) was seemingly impossible. About a month from the first mention of the Cedar Point trip, which was determined to occur sometime in the future, Plonker had the idea of riding there THAT year. I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned that in another post at some point, but I’ll be god damned if I’m going to go back and read through all of them to create a link.
Unfortunately, we had very little training that first year. We eventually got up to 23 miles in a trip, which then immediately jumped to 65 miles. We did 65 because it would have been roughly half of the Sandusky trip, and we had scheduled to do it in less than a month at that point. Oh yes, it was on the calendar. Though after nearly dying that day from exhaustion and what can only vaguely be described as food we shelved the plan for that year and drove. And camped. Separate tents.
It was a goal. A seemingly impossible goal for 2 fat guys that have almost zero athletic abilities and would rather stuff our faces with food than do almost anything else. But we had talked about our plan so much that year that if we DIDN’T do it we’d be all talk. All talk we’re not.
After returning from the camping trip we hit bike riding hard until the winter came. We PLANNED on riding in the winter as much as we could, but after one time out in 30 degree weather for 30 miles we stopped that shit.
Spring finally broke and we did some more training, though not as much as we would have liked. Eventually about July we did a 72 mile ride, which you can on our YouTube page. It was also a test for the GoPro. The time lapses have become a constant on these trips and I try to improve on the final product every year.
We successfully completed the trip that first year, but changed the return route a little figuring it best to ride the route that you know rather than the one you don’t. We then detoured again, and ended up on the same hills we were trying to avoid. Womp womp. Also it turned out Plonker’s bike was too small for him and it caused knee pain.
At first Plonker said he would never do that again, but much like pregnancy, you forget about the horrors you have seen and felt and eventually came around to making it an annual trip.
At first it was a long shot goal, but then we accomplished it. But it also got us out of the shit hole area we call home. Being out in the sun and enjoying the scenery around you is a great experience. Sometimes you just have to go out and do something you wouldn’t normally do. Also we’re dead inside, so we have to think of stupider things to make us feel alive inside. That’s why last year’s trip we did the previous years original return route (that we didn’t do) and went that way. New route, new challenges. However, there are only so many ways to get to Sandusky from the Ohio/Pennsylvania border. So to mix it up we decided to add 50 miles to the route. Is it the most direct route? No. It’s not meant to be, we did the most direct routes by bike already.
The bike trips have gone from a lofty goal (for 2 fat guys) to something that gives us a challenge that our regular jobs really don’t provide. A goal at the end, where after hard work and determination you get the reward of copious amounts of food and alcohol.
But why Sandusky every year? Well, part of it is tradition. Part is being Platinum Pass members for Cedar Point, so entertainment there doesn’t cost more on the trip. But I think another part is that there really isn’t anywhere to go from our starting point within our current range. At least no point of destination that we really want to go to. I suppose we could pick a place 180 miles into Pennsylvania or south to West Virginia, but there’s… just nothing there. Perhaps when we extend the routes farther and farther out we’ll change the destination. Although we’ve talked about instead of going to Cedar Point, Hitting Kings Island… THEN Cedar Point before coming back. That would comes in at about 600 or so miles if I remember correctly.
But yeah. We get a lot of flack for doing this shit, but I don’t see you doing anything. Get off your ass and ride a bike. It’s fun to get out of town and doing something you didn’t think you could do. There’s always openings here… just don’t slow us down or show us up. Or complain too much, that’s Plonker’s job.
OH, Plonker mentioned the waitress calling me a pussy. She did. I’m calling it “Kindergarten Love” (when you’re in Kindergarten when you like someone you hit or pick on them more). But that Caramel Apple something something martini was strong as hell. It was like drinking rubbing alcohol with a slight apple taste in the beginning. I’m not a drinker, I prefer to have the alcohol in my drinks be more of a “surprise! Now you can’t walk!” thing instead of a “HAHAHA now your guts are burning” thing. But she can call me pussy anytime.
Though, one of my favorite one liner’s of the night occurred when Plonker was asking for new drinks (don’t let him fool you, he also likes the fruity drinks). However, neither one of us know what the best fruity drinks are, so we generally ask for recommendations from the waitresses. She didn’t know of any except Sex on the Beach.
Plonker: What do you recommend that fruity?
Hoff: Drinks. Fruity DRINKS.
Waitress: I don’t know.. I don’t really drink fruity drinks. What do you like?
Plonker: I don’t know. Dealers Choice. Whatever is fine.
Waitress: I don’t know… Sex on the Beach?
Plonker: Sure, whatever. Just anything.
Waitress: *Turns to Hoff* Do you like sex on the beach?
Hoff: Shit yeah I do!
And with that, it’s time to go drink some more.
