Category Archives: Plonker Sez

Sure, it’s funny now…

So there I was… In this Plonker Sez, I’m going to tell you of three stories that are sure to have you saying, “what in the actual blue fuck, mate?”.  Let’s begin. NUMBER ONE These events happened in a lovely little town … Continue reading

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Still single, ladies…

So I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m still single.  Yes, lonely, desperate, horny Plonker.  Imagine a fat and naked man, alone at his computer, elbow deep in chicken wings and porn.  That is the essence of Plonker. Yes, … Continue reading

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I get all the normal ones… /sarcasm

To quote Bruce Willis, “I don’t get it. I just don’t get it. And, I don’t like it. Where’d I go wrong?” I’m a reasonably good looking guy.  Yeah, I could lose a pound or 90, but who can’t these … Continue reading

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Guys, don’t get fat. Just….just don’t.

So where do I start?  Well, let’s start here…holy shit I’m out of shape.  So Josh and I decided today, since it’s 60º in January (which clearly puts to bed those rumors of that made-up “Climate Change” stuff) that we’d … Continue reading

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Ladies…learn how to date.

Do girls not know how to “date” anymore? I want to plan a night, get reasonably dressed up (appropriately), pick you up, take you out, then take you home when the night’s events are over.   No, I don’t want … Continue reading

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