Amazon Resolution and other Eavents

The day after the last post, wherein the Amazon Customer Service rep was supposed to call me back, I called Amazon Customer Service again. I waited until about noon, which for the package arriving in California, would probably still be on the truck for delivery. I really didn’t want to wait to see if I would get a call back from the original rep, as she’d probably just tell me to get an RMA number and send the package back to the Amazon warehouse.

So I call and get a new representative. Not to be racist or anything, but she sounded like a white girl, as in I was able to understand everything she was saying and had a very white girl name. She seemed very nice, which tells me she probably doesn’t come from the Western Pennsylvania/Eastern Ohio region.

She asked what she could do for me and I explained that the situation was all screwed up… Someone hacked my account, got a refund on an order that I had delivery months previous, got the refund on a gift card on my account, used that gift card to purchase items, sent them to themselves using my name, and signed me up for prime. Also I had called about this the night before and was told to wait for the package to arrive and then refuse to to get a refund, which obviously was impossible.

She agrees that’s not a great situation and tries to transfer me to the correct department, which apparently they are unable to do. So she has a for to fill out and then sends that to the department. A couple hours later I get an email that everything in my account has been put back to how it was, any possible pending orders have been canceled, and that I need to change my email address.

So far, so good.

In the mean time, it’s been cold as fuck in this area. It started last Sunday, with a sudden snow storm. It’s been an unusually mild winter thus far, so although we knew it was supposed to snow I wasn’t mentally prepared for it. So Sunday, I go out in the snow and put on my brand new studded winter tires. Just the rears. I’ve never needed snow tires on my previous vehicles, but I had been told that my 1993 RWD Mercedes 190E sucks ass in the snow. So I purchased the tires to prepare for the snow and had them installed on a couple extra rims that were given me for the purpose. When my dad owned the car, he would carry 2 80# bags of concrete for extra traction. By the time I got the car one of the bags was used for something. So, I went an bought another bag of concrete and 2 50# bags of salt. One bag of salt I brought in the house to use for the sidewalks, the other bag I left in the truck, figuring more weight is better.

I had waited until the last possible minute to install the snow tires because I was having brake issues. I replaced the rear brakes and discovered my parking brakes were bad. Ordered the parking brakes, and eventually found another part I needed for them. The next day I installed the front brakes, which were much, much worse. My brakes didn’t feel great, as I had to push the pedal to the floor to stop despite bleeding all the calipers (I also replaced all the hoses). So, in addition to parking brake parts, I also order a new master cylinder. I have yet to install any of these new parts, but I’m used to stopping this way. It has about the same feel as the gas pedal (as in you have to move the pedal about half way before it actually moves the throttle… that’s how the linkage is designed for some reason).

So equipped with my new brake pads and rotors, my studded rear winter tires, and the new weight in my trunk, I head off to the plasma donation center where I usually donate twice a week. It’s about a 25 minute drive from where I live and was  a little nervous about the trip as this was my first trip in the snow with this car.

It handled well. I didn’t speed like I usually do.. In fact I drive a little on the slow side. I made it though and did my donation.

In the 2 hours I was at the center, the weather got worse. I opted to not take the interstate back home, as it has a bunch of construction as per the usual and didn’t want to risk crashing into orange barrels or other barricades. I took the state routes… which ended up being less clear than I anticipated. Driving slower than my trip out, and keeping adequate distance between myself and the cars in front of me, it was a slow trip back. Also a little nerve wracking. It turns out my car does indeed not like to drive in snow. I’d ease on the brakes quite a distance back, and as I got closer to red lights and stop signs my ABS would kick on as I tried desperately to stop. I went completely through at least one red light.

At one point I thought I had a leaking tire, as a week previously I had to plug a hole in one, so I pulled into a parking lot. Big mistake. The parking lot had not been plowed yet and was much worse than the road I was just on. Stopping was basically just slowly crashing into snow banks. My tire wasn’t flat. It was just slush build up in the wheel wells.

Getting back on to the road, I finally met my turn off for the last major highway of my trip, which is still about a 10 mile stretch. As luck would have it, I got behind a group of cars that were all following the snow plow/salt truck, who went all the way to my turn off.

Having not eaten up to this point, and now wanted to venture out again in this weather, I stop at the local Speedway, as it’s conveniently located between work and home. Stopping was again a crash into a snow bank… hard enough to jump the curb onto the sidewalk. I got my food and left.

Finally on the last leg home. One redlight left, I take it slow and easy and stop completely with plenty of room between me and the car in front! Apparently my ABS did not like that one bit and started pumping away actually making me start moving again and not letting me stop. Luckily the light turned green and I was able to get moving again. I made it home with no other issues and didn’t leave the house the rest of the day.

I took the rest of the week slowly and only drove when I had to. Thursday, I go out to my car to leave work, it was an even colder day than we’ve had to this point.. and nothing. Car was dead. I had  a coworking jump it and got it home. ABS, Air Bag, Defrost lights, and radio were all cutting in and out. I got the car home, turned it off, then tried to restart. Dead. Of course. Needed a battery.

By this point it was dark and about 6 degrees out, and I had zero ambition to go out and get a new battery, that would have to wait until after work the next day.

The following day after work I fought the cold and removed my battery. It was a battery. I have no information on it. No cranking amps. No cold cranking amps. It’s just a battery that is battery shaped and would start the car in non-cold temperatures. I replaced it with the highest cold cranking amp battery I was able to find. I’m not dealing with this bull shit again.

On a more positive note, they hired a new guy a work to take over my old department after the last guy finished up his last 2 weeks. This week I worked in my old department and got everything caught up. Things should be smooth sailing from here… provided the new guy doesn’t freak out and quit.

 

 

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I got to call Amazon Customer Service again

I knew today was not going to be a great day from the moment I woke up. I didn’t know why exactly, but there were some contenders: Snow fall while driving a car that likes to slide in snow, catching up my old department at work while they look for a new person to take over, the standard depression over the weather and area.. but the one that has me most irritated was having to call Amazon Customer Service.

To be fair, it’s not solely calling Amazon Customer Service that has me irritated, but having to in the first place takes a chunk of the responsibility.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Amazon. I like to order things. I like to get packages. I like to order things on Amazon and get packages. I’m a simple man.

Today I got a shipment confirmation, which normally gets me all excited, but.. but this time I didn’t order anything (from Amazon. Thank you eBay!) It appeared to be some kind of gamer gear, and considering my gaming life peaked with Super Nintendo, it was most decidedly not mine. The confirmation had the package shipping to my name, but to California. I can definitively say that I do not live in California, nor is Pennsylvania California, nor is Pennsylvania near California.

I was still at work at this point, Amazon is blocked on my computer, which is actually not very handy considering I am now head of maintenance and will most likely need items from Amazon at some point… So I check my account on my phone. It shows no recent orders. I do, however, have the order number from the confirmation email. So I google the Amazon Customer Service number and give them a call.

I get.. someone… If I had to guess, I’d say Indian. Not to be racist or anything, but she talked really fast and I couldn’t understand a god damned thing she said despite her speaking English. She had to ask for my middle initial 6 times before I realized she was saying “middle initial”. I’d say I’m being more stereotypical.

So after she verifies me I tell her I got a shipping confirmation for an order that says it’s mine, but I didn’t order it, and it’s going to California and I don’t actually live in California.

She confirms that I had a shipping confirmation for an order I didn’t place.

She asks if she can put me on hold (4 times because what the hell did she say? you could tell she was getting irritated… pull the mouth piece away from your mouth!)

She comes back and says that if the package arrives I should refuse it and when they see it was refused they’ll give me a refund.

Whoa, I say. Whoa. It’s not coming to me. I mean, yes it says it’s coming to me… but my address is not in California. In fact, when I called you asked me my address. It should be on your screen. In the event you’re not familiar with US geography, PA is no where near CA, although I do admit they sound similar when you do the abbreviations. She tried to reiterate: IF it shows up tomorrow, refuse it and when it’s refused we’ll issue a refund.

Well there’s no if about it. It’s not going to show up. Not here, at least. On the whole other side of the country perhaps, but definitely no where near where I currently am, which limits my ability to refuse said package. I get put on hold again.

She comes back and says the if it should arrive, refuse it, in the morning they’ll look into it and issue a refund. She’ll send me an email with information.

The email says:

“Hello Joshua,

You can refuse this shipment when it arrives. Refusing the shipment allow you to return it with having to pay for return shipping.

If Amazon receives a carrier notification indicating the package was refused, we’ll process your refund at that time. If we don’t, receive a carrier notification, it can take up to two weeks for us to receive your return and process your refund. You’ll receive an email when the refund is issued.

I’ll give you a call tomorrow in regards to this.”

So I’ve pretty dissatisfied with the result so far. Going through my emails, I did find some emails form Amazon, the initial order placement, a Welcome to Prime email, and an email about my refund for a previous order. I get like 60 bullshit emails a day and missed these ones until it was already shipped.

I do have a refund pending on a previous order… it was a $25 order. This was a refund of $210 for a flir imager that I ordered a few months ago. I talked to no one about that. The refund was issued to a gift card that was issued to my account.

I’ve since changed my Amazon password, Amazon store card password, and canceled the free trial of Prime. It does, however still show a $20 balance on the gift card. The reason for the refund is “account adjustment”. What the fuck is that? And are they expecting my Flir back? When they don’t get it, am I then going to have to cough up nearly $200 to pay for something I already paid for?

I don’t like any of this.

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December Already!?

How can it be December already? Apparently my last post was about the return trip from Sandusky.

A lot has happened since then, but nothing all too interesting.

Over the Labor Day weekend Plonker and I decided to take another trip to Cedar Point, sans bikes this time. We made it to Toft’s this time around and had small cones.. THEN large cones. That’s like 15 scoops if you keep track of that type of stuff. Check out the pics at out instagram!

In the end we decided to get Platinum Passes to the Cedar Fair parks. I have anyway. Plonker keeps putting it off. With the Platinum Passes we had a free entry day to Halloweekends. Plonker also won 2 free tickets to Halloweekends. We didn’t make it at all due to Plonker having a surprise trip the planned weekend and I being busy the previous weekend. #fail

We haven’t biked since returning from Sandusky. We tried once, but Plonkers knee was still fucked and I wasn’t “feeling” it. So we made it like 4 total miles. As the fall went on and the dreary Pennsylvania winter is here I’m now looking forward to the next bike trip: blue skies, warmth, losing some weight, warmth, away from work and this area, sunny skies, warmth…. you get the idea. The problem: we have no idea where to road trip to. On one side we feel that it would be a good idea to no over tax ourselves and make it like a one day trip. On the other hand, I like to push limits. We did 135 miles, twice, in a week. We just gotta surpass that! Gotta!

The other problem is, where Fujupz HQ is located, there’s not a whole lot to do. Cedar Point was like the “sweet spot”: far enough away, but not too far away. We met that challenge and conquered it. Granted, with a lot of whining and bitching, but that status quo for Plonker.

On the return trip from Cedar Point over the Labor Day Weekend, we tossed around the idea of King’s Island. It’s definitely farther than Cedar Point’s 135 miles… about 300 from where we sit. Well, from where Plonker sits. About 306 from where I sit. That would take major planning and at LEAST 3 days of travel time just to get there. Four days for a known one day travel distance. Of course, our major planning would culminate the day of the trip, most likely around noon, and as we reach the first Dairy Queen. So Plonker, start planning. Also we need clipless pedals, maybe Plonker’s knee won’t get tweaked by his horrible foot positioning.

I finally got the first time lapse of the bike trip done, check it out on our channel! I started with the return trip because I took a laptop with me to update the blog and to transfer the trip pics to free up SD card space. However, that meant that when I returned home, the SD card with the return trip was easier to transfer to the Desktop (which is a much better system than the POS laptop). I wasn’t super impressed with the resolution of the movie though. I’m not sure if it’s the software or the lack of an actual graphics card in my desktop, or possibly because I made smaller clips then combined the clips in the final movie. Though, even when I do clips in GoPro Studio they are very clear. However, the clips it produces is incompatible with my movie editing software, and even GoPro Studio was giving me issues. And I can’t get better movie editing software due to my lack of a graphics card (so far…). For the “To” trip time lapse I think I’m going to not make smaller clips first. Either way don’t view it on a Roku.. holy shit I watched it on mine and the resolution was dog shit. Other videos are clear. It’s a conspiracy against Fujupz! Plonker for President 2020!

In non-Fujupz related business, I’ve been rebuilding my engine in my 1993 GMC C1500 Pickup. Is it worth it? Nope. But I like to do that type of shit. It’s not even a v8. It’s not my first foray into engine building. I mean, it’s the Fujupz way of engine building, but it’s always worked for me. Actually I didn’t even plan on rebuilding the engine.. my summer plan was to rebuild the transmission.

The progression went something like:

I had replacement bumpers, but they were in my way, so I decided to replace the rear one first. I noticed my leaf springs were broken. Ordered new ones, got bumper on.

In the mean time, put on front bumper, but need to take out grille and headlights to get to bolts. Down that far, I have a new radiator core support and radiator… and fenders. Take those out, the engine is right there.

Take out engine and transmission. Might as well rebuild engine. Had cracked piston skirts. Learn how to replace pistons on the connecting rods.. the Fujupz way. Oil pan gasket wouldn’t fit buy a second. Destroy first set of cam bearings. Buy second set of piston rings because I had to replace the pistons. Destroy valve stem seal because I wouldn’t stop fucking with it. Set cylinder head and stand on fire. No particular order. Had I realized it would be such a fucking mess I would have recorded it. With all the stopping it’s taken me months to do it.

Start on Transmission. Break wiring harness. Find broken spring, check ball floating around, and issues getting the pump out.

So all in all, par for the course. I did get my leaf springs in though.

I’ve also moved on up to Head of Maintenance at work, equipment maintenance, not custodial duties. However, it was know that I would move from my current position in Wide Format Printing for months before it happened. So about a month before the move the give the job to a guy form another department. So they need to hire someone to replace him. His replacement quit after 12 days. So they hire another one and he gets roughly 8 days of training. My replacement then comes over about 5 days before the then current head of maintenance retires. Horrible timing, we had large rush jobs to get out that took days to finish. So he basically got to learn on aspect of the job really well for 3 days straight, had a day for everything else, then a half day because we were both high on OT. I helped him out for about a week after that for a large percentage of my time, then as needed after that. In the end, he quit after 3 weeks, then worked 2 more. So now I’m back to doing double duty until they can find a qualified candidate.

I’m all ready for another vacation. Plonker, grab your bike

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Ladies…learn how to date.

Do girls not know how to “date” anymore?

I want to plan a night, get reasonably dressed up (appropriately), pick you up, take you out, then take you home when the night’s events are over.  

No, I don’t want to “meet up” somewhere.  

No, I don’t want to “chill”.  

No, I don’t want to “come in” after.

No, I don’t want to watch Netflix.  

No, I don’t want to “do whatever”.  

I want to go out on a legitimate, dinner and activity (no movies), hand holding, flower giving, conversation having, eye contacting date.  

When I ask a girl out, I’m not asking to meet her vagina, I’m asking to take her out.  I’m not saying I’m against first date sex, but going into it I’m kind of assuming it’s not happening.  If it happens, it happens, but for the love of Mike, when I knock on the door to pick you up, that’s not code for “I’m already wearing a condom”.  

When did dating become more about bumping uglies than actual dating?

/Rant

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Dating…for men with no confidence

So for those who know the real Plonker (trademark pending), they know I’m kind of a keep to myself guy.  At the same time, I’m an opinionated bastard and have no problem speaking my mind when asked, I just tend to keep to myself unless provoked.  In that way I’m not too different to a King Cobra or Porcupine…or skunk.  That can mean whatever you want it to.  You might be asking why this is (you’re not, but it doesn’t prolong the post unless I write it that way).  Well, Fujupz Freakz, that’s a great question and here’s the answer…no confidence.

Now, the no confidence thing doesn’t discriminate.  All my life, regardless of how I look (fitness), what I do (job/activity), how much money I have/make (which is always “not enough), what kind of car I drive, where I live…doesn’t matter.  There’s no confidence.  I’m pretty sure men everywhere can be/are impacted by this.  So this week’s (hahahahaha – month’s is more like it) Plonker Sez is for YOU, guys.  It’s for those of us who stand against the wall in the high school gym watching the dance (or stay at the bar in the club watching the same thing).  It’s for those of us terrified to approach beautiful women, because “what would she want in me?”  This is for us, losers!  …and I mean that in the best possible way.

Okay, so there are 5 Stages to dating when you have no confidence.  It’s kind of like the 5 stages of grief (for those not in the know, it’s denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance).  You really must go through a step-by-step process.  Rarely can you skip through any of it.  The exception would be if you suddenly gain confidence at some point and break the chain.  If you do, hat’s off my friend.

Stage 1 – Single Life RAWKS!

You walk around naked, poop with the door open, eat dinner out of the pan standing at the sink, your body goes to hell, you binge watch TERRIBLE movies on netflix (see: The Core).  It’s basically a desperate cry for help masquerading as someone having a fun time with life.  Everyone starts here.  You think, “Hey, I’m single now I’m going to get so much pussy!” (wait…can I say that now?  I said you’re going to GET it not you’re going to GRAB it…back down feminazis…but yeah you think you’re going to grab pussy too) and “all my money is MINE now!  I’m going to buy a motorcycle!”.

Then reality starts to set in.  You don’t buy a motorcycle, you buy sweatpants.  Then bigger sweatpants.  Then you skip those and just get those loose fitting mesh gym shorts.

fat-guy-with-food

Then you stop getting on the scale and start ordering all of your meals as carry out.  Yeah, single life RAWKS…except you have no confidence, so you are too much of an axe wound to approach beautiful women when you see them.  The feminazis have helped that along, making it damn near a capital offense to complement a woman’s eyes or smile, but I digest…

When the reality finally sets in that “no, this does not rawk” you can move on to stage 2.

Stage 2 – I need to do something…

This is where things actually do get fun.  You find another buddy with no confidence who is also single and you go out and start doing shit.  Fun shit, crazy shit, stupid shit, you don’t care so long as you’re doing shit (no homo – unless you’re homo in which case maybe it includes homo…I have no idea how that works…).

buddies

In my case with Josh, we started going to b-dubs.  Then that got expensive and we started hitting the gym.  Then we stopped doing that and decided to ride bikes.  That’s fun when I’m not blowing out my knee and it’s not freezing…and it is a great workout and helps you lose weight.

Anyway, then you stop doing that shit and maybe you pick new shit.  This stage can go as long or as short as you want.  Maybe “shit” for you guys is playing darts and you get bored with it after an hour and move to the next stage.  Maybe like Josh and I you ride bikes for over two years before one of you decides to move to the next stage.  Either way, once you tire of the monotony of “doing shit”, you move on to the next stage.

Stage 3 – I’m doing TOO MUCH!

Yeah, Stage 3 is basically realizing that you’re drowning your sorrows in Stage 2 and you start to back a few things off.  Why?  Because you need some you time, dawg!  Usually in this stage, you start to look at the scale again and say “holy fucking shit what happened?” and start watching that again.  But this stage is largely about reduction.  Reducing people you text, the porn on your phone (that hurt), how much time you spend doing pointless shit.

I don’t want to make it sound like you STOP doing shit, because you don’t.  You just stop doing shit that isn’t productive.  I fully intend to keep riding, keep working out.  But maybe the piano lessons can go on the back burner.  Maybe remodeling my house more can go there as well.  In fact, Josh and I decided that my next projects should be taking care of the garage so I can get a lawnmower and I want to work on moving my bedroom to the basement so The Offspring can have the entire upstairs to himself (except we’ll share the bathroom until I get one put in down in my bedroom…).  But those projects should be pretty quick and easy.  We’re talking about putting in a door, opening an (existing) doorway in a wall, and potentially removing some paneling.  All easy shit.  See?  I’m cutting back.  At this point, you can join me as we move to Stage 4.

overwhelm

Stage 4 – What do women want?  Oh…not me.  Or do they?

This stage is a quick one (though entertaining and educational) and then we’re on to a new stage.  In this stage, you probably even go on a few dates, maybe a few “hookups” or some “netflix and chill” events.  Everything kind of fizzles with the normal chicks and you meet some real weirdos that are into you, but they’re just too insane to consider dating.

The education and entertainment (edutainment?) actually comes in because of dating.  For guys with no confidence, we can’t just go up to girls at the bar, in the mall, leaving middle school, etc.  So where do we run…

ONLINE DATING!!!

Ladies and gentlemen (and those of you reading this nodding your head, you sick freaks), let me tell you…online dating is…  I don’t even know how to describe it.

no-words

It’s a fucking nightmare is what it is.  Women don’t reply, they don’t even read your messages.  They’ll view your profile and not respond.  Then when they do, they ask you questions like (on the first date and I’m not even shitting you) “What’s your credit score?” or (third date no joke) “How many times do you think we would have to have sex before I got pregnant?”

Ladies….STOP THAT!!!  It’s freaky as fuck!  You talk about guys being creepers (and I’m the CEO of the National Organization of Men Newly Oriented in Menacing – yeah… I made it spell “NOM NOM”) but some of you are just psychotic.  You need to police yourselves.

creeped

After you’ve had enough fun with that, you’re faced with a fork in the road.  One path leads you back to Stage 1 and you get to enjoy being single.  For those of you who can break the cycle and gain some temporary confidence, you’re headed to Stage 5.  Buckle up, big boy…let’s check it out.

Stage 5 – WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING!?

This is without a doubt the most frightening stage for all of manhood…until you’re about 14.  For those of us with no confidence, we never grow out of it.  In our case, this stage is scary as fuck.  In fact, this stage has one of those fire poles like in Ghostbusters.

ghostbusters

This is so you can slide immediately back to Stage 1.  It’s also kind of an ejection seat.  If you get too scared, just pull the handle.

eject-eject-eject-o

However, if you get a little bit of confidence in this stage you are going to say “fuck this shit, I want my unicorn!”  You’re going to think of everything you want in a woman, morph her into one woman in your head, and you’re going to go looking for her.  When you find her (or think you have done so) you’re going to be absolutely certain she isn’t interested in you.  To the point that you’re going to second guess asking her out about a dozen times.

But finally you decide to pull the trigger and when you do you can’t help but thinking “what the fuck am I even doing here?”  You’re about to fail miserably is what you’re doing.

But guys, go for it!  What’s the worst that can happen?  She says no?  YOU HAVE A FUCKING EJECTION SEAT!  Take that shit back to “I LOVE BEING SINGLE” land!  Build your confidence up again and try next time.


Now while those are the 5 stages of dating for guys with no confidence, I also have some tips for you guys.

  1. Dude…just go for it.
  2. That’s it.  Really, think about it logically…what could possibly happen?  She says yes, you date, fall in love, get married, she divorces you, takes your kids, your money, your house, and your testicles and you get to play again…okay that’s pretty bad.
  3. Be picky, so #2 doesn’t happen.
  4. That’s it.

Thanks for reading.  Next month: How to deal with rejection; a Plonker tale…

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